Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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