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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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• (607): View more from New York

  your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books

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• (518): View more from New York

  Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved

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• (407): View more from Florida

  The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Who pooed in my magic bullet?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry the bathroom was being used.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.

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• (909): View more from California

  I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Are you wearing clothes?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Fuck no, who do you think I am

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.

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