Nicole vs. Life
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
