I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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