You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
