Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
