I'm jealous of your bromance
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
