She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
