My liver just broke up with me...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
