i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
