Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
