I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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