Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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