I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
