Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
