Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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