No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
two words...techno handjob
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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