she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
