God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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