So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
