this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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