she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's not cheating when I paid for it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
