my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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