I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
