I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
