I wish I could teleport
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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