and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
