Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
