i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
