Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
