She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
