It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
