ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
