i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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