I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
