It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
