She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
