i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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