Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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