I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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