sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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