I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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