I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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