Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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