I just made out with a guy for $7.
I understand Curling. That high.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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