i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
