I'm jealous of your bromance
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
