Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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