I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I am morally bankrupt
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
