so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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