I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
