a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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