I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
