Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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