Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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