i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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