Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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