He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
