I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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