Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize