i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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