$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
