I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
