You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize