so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
